The ultimate college shopping list

Office supply and department store lists may have their own ideas for college essentials, but where better to get your shopping list than from experienced college professionals? We’ve been through the college wringer, so here’s a truly honest list of things you’ll need for your first year or your fifth year.

1. A set of Scooby Doo bed sheets

It’s a conversation starter after a Bumble date for one thing, but also, Scooby Doo themed bed sheets are a way to bring a little bit of your inner child out as you start your path to adulthood. You’ve moved out of the house, you’re in your new apartment or dorm and after a long day of classes or drinking you can crash onto the plush face of your childhood friend. Who’s the adult now, Scooby Doo? (not you).

2. Industrial strength, wholesale supply of tissues

No one who’s ever taken an accounting class has made it through the whole term without crying, unless they are a big liar. So one important item to pick up would be a year’s worth of tissues, preferably reinforced. Somewhere between one to one and a half pallets should do the trick. Keep a box in your backpack, beside your bed, in your car, in the bathroom and if you have extras, pass them out after your hardest final. I can absolutely guarantee you will either make a friend or not make a friend doing this.

3. Every White Claw you can find

There’s a claw famine, so be sure to pack at least one suitcase of entirely White Claw seltzers as self defense. Even if they are lime flavored, the most detested of all White Claw flavors, be sure to bring these along. That way when a frat bro asks to trade one of his Truly seltzers for one of your White Claws, you can simply hand him a lime one without giving up one of your precious Claws from your stash. There’s no better way to make friends in college, than by sharing seltzers with one another. For those under 21: repeat above steps, but with LaCroix.

4. Travel-sized financial dread

Nothing goes better with the excitement of a fresh year of college than just a small bottle of worry you can keep in your pocket. Pull it out at parties, during an exam, or while online shopping to remind yourself that you shouldn’t be having fun, you should be concerned about the future.

5. Your highschool sweetheart

While it may seem like you’re not going to have time for a romantic partner when you’re first starting college and long distance is hard, this could not be farther from the truth. You’ll absolutely need your partner from highschool throughout college to remind you why you left home.

6. $200 textbooks you’ll use once, and sell back for $1

Arguably the most crucial item you’ll need in college is the textbook(s) you paid hundreds of dollars for, but won’t have time to read, and then opened once before searching for the study guide answers on Quizlet. Remember, always check with the professor on the first day before buying all your textbooks, just in case the non-returnable textbook you just spent $150 was added to the syllabus by accident. Unlike most items in perfect condition, unfortunately the buyback price for textbooks is about 5 percent of what you bought them for.