What’s the secret to dirty talk? I keep repeating myself and it might be getting repetitive and not-so-flirty.
–Bad Dirty Talk
Dear Bad Dirty Talk,
When you’re talking dirty to someone, it’ll be an intimate, probably exclusive conversation. This is why dirty talk is as taboo as we make it out to be.
The thoughts that you might think but cast aside and reserve for yourself throughout the day are the main ingredient in dirty talk.
For example, while talking to your partner during lunch, you probably wouldn’t say that their lips biting into a sandwich turn you on and you need them right then and there, but in an intimate setting, you can say something similar and turn your partner on by letting them know how you feel.
With that in mind, the key to dirty talk seems to be blunt honesty. Very blunt honesty.
If you have said everything you think about your partner — things like how badly you love and need their body, how soft they are, how strong they are, etc. — then mix it up. For example, tell them what they do to you that you really, really like. Say it as you’re enjoying it or tell them you want it!
The next step is to say it in your own style. You may imagine that “confidence is key,” but if you typically don’t exude charisma, it may throw your partner off if you immediately transition into a dominant-style character. If you’re usually a quirky goofball, then be the goof you are and also be honest about why your partner drives you wild.
So how do you tell them? In their ear nice and low? Through a moan? Kind of squeaky-like? While you’re growling? The mood between you and your partner will probably dictate how you say it, but your tone is most likely not going to affect how your seductive message comes across. So tell them quietly if you are being quiet and loudly if you are loud.
But when do you dirty talk and how much should you say? Whenever and however much you want. The trick to being honest is saying what’s on your mind when you think it. If something piques your interest or you have a flash of inspiration about how great your partner is, go ahead and share it.
So remember, be honest and be yourself. Don’t overthink the talking, but let it out when you have something to say because your partner probably has some words for you too.
You’ll be talking so dirty you’ll have to watch out for earthworms,