Sex & Relationships

Pillow Talk: What do I get for her besides flowers?

Dear Katherine,

What are some simple “just because” gestures I make besides giving her flowers?


Lover’s Block

Dear Lover’s Block,

Few things compare to the gestures you’re talking about. The kind that make you realize: This person was thinking of me and I didn’t even know it.

It won’t be easy to give you suggestions for what to get a girl I don’t know, but I’ll try anyway: I encourage you to think big but pay small. What gets her going? Politics? Religion? Race? Gender? Dogs? Environment? Hershey’s Cookies ‘n’ Creme bars? Get her that book you eyed at the Duck Store, or that goodie she eyed at Safeway.

Or maybe she’s into drawing and you noticed that she needs a new sketchbook. Or you saw something when you were out, something you ran into on your way home one day — a painting, a special kind of beer — that you decided to pick up for her.

It’s a cliché, I know, but it’s true: Sometimes the gestures that are the most thoughtful are those that don’t cost a dime. Draw her a picture. Hike Spencer Butte and catch a sunset. Bike to the Willamette River. Rent that movie she’s been talking about for the past three months and cook her dinner before. Or — my personal favorite — write her a letter and tell her everything you’ve been meaning to.

There are many ways to express to her that you care. The important thing is that you do.




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Katherine Marrone

Katherine Marrone

Katherine Marrone is the sex and relationships writer for the Emerald. A feminist and activist, she likes writing about gender issues and social justice.