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Sex: How to mend a broken heart



Dear Katherine,

About a week ago, my girlfriend ended our two-and-a-half-year relationship. It was completely out of the blue — I didn’t see it coming at all. She said that she wasn’t sure she wanted to be with me anymore. Just like that. I am crushed. I love her. She was my best friend, my partner. Now I feel so alone. I’m afraid I’ll never find someone like her, that I’ll never be as happy as I once was.

Sincerely,
Broken

 

Dear Broken,

I’m so sorry to hear about your breakup. That sounds extremely painful — especially since it was out of the blue. When you’ve shared so much with someone and that person is suddenly no more, the pain seems to be a thick fog of which you will never find your way out.

But you will.

Eventually, you will. For now, let yourself grieve. Let yourself grieve over your relationship. You loved her; she was important to you.

However, you will love again, trust me. You’re not going to find someone exactly like her, but should you? After this spontaneous breakup, perhaps you’d wish to find someone different anyway — someone a little more sensitive to your feelings, someone who would be open to communicating her doubts during the relationship, rather than just at the end.

It’s going to take time, but take that time. You don’t need to find anyone right now but when you feel ready, be open to it. View your relationship as a beautiful one but not a faultless one — and learn from these faults. It is a relationship you grew and learned from. Feel proud of the love you did give her, that you’re capable of loving so much, so deeply. A beautiful thing. And, love again.

Sincerely,
Katherine

 

Email the Emerald’s sex and relationships features reporter with similar issues at [email protected]


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