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Advice Column: Dealing with being a hopeless (and single) romantic

Dear Katherine,

I’m interested in men, and I’m having a hard time finding a boyfriend. I sometimes joke with my straight friends about how much easier it must be for them to find somebody. Let’s face it: there are just more straight individuals out there. The limited guys that I know who are interested in men, I’m just not interested in, and the ones who aren’t, I find myself wishing they were. I’m lonely. Any suggestions?


Hopeless Romantic

Dear Hopeless Romantic,

Sometimes, when we don’t have someone to love, we panic. We become anxious and our thoughts skip forward to fifty years in the future — to images of us alone and wrinkly, sitting in a rocking chair, mourning the love we’ve never met.

Fortunately, these anxieties aren’t realistic. Yes, finding someone we truly connect with — no matter our sexuality — takes time, but that doesn’t mean it won’t happen.

First step is this: get yourself out there. This rings true for people of any sex, any sexuality. Get out of the house and get involved. Have you thought of joining the LGBTQA group on campus? If not, go to a meeting. You might meet others there who are going through similar situations as you and it could be a great chance to develop friendships that could possibly bloom into more.

The second step is to stop stressing. As hard as it may seem, try to convert your romantic energy into other forms. Build your career. Take up a sport. Read a new book. Join a choir. Write in a journal. Study Buddhism. Take Taekwondo. Whatever it is, focus your attention inward — love yourself, take care of yourself, and everything else will follow.



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Katherine Marrone

Katherine Marrone

Katherine Marrone is the sex and relationships writer for the Emerald. A feminist and activist, she likes writing about gender issues and social justice.