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High-class cocktails to ‘tipple’ your fancy

So you’re a lawyer now — well, you will be (hopefully) soon. Your free-spirited undergrad days are far behind you, as should be those crappy, sugar-soaked “cocktails” you were always downing. You’re a grownup now; you better start drinking like it!

These five cocktails will make you sound like a real professional if ordered in a bar — but they’re just as easy to whip up at home after a long study sesh.

Photography by Turner Maxwell for the Emerald.

 Gin Rickey — gin, half a lime, carbonated water, sugar.

Definitely the favorite of the five among Emerald taste-testers, this refreshing tipple has been described as “air-conditioning in a glass” and was featured in a particularly dramatic scene in “The Great Gatsby”— so you know it’s a well-worn classic. The recipe is straightforward: Squeeze the juice of half a lime into the glass (If you’re feeling particularly lazy, you don’t even have to throw away the squeezed lime, just drop it into the bottom of the glass). Add gin (however much you think you need to recover from a grinding day) and top with sparkling water. Sugar isn’t necessary, but if the lime is too tart, simple syrup can be added with the gin. Watch your consumption though, as you could easily down a half-dozen of these in an evening without even noticing.

Photography by Turner Maxwell for the Emerald.

Old Fashioned — sugar, bitters, whiskey, twist of citrus rind.

Are you manly? Had a rough day? Actually enjoy the taste of whiskey? Then this drink is for you. The preferred cocktail of “Mad Men”’s Don Draper, the Old Fashioned is sure to put hair on your chest — or anywhere else for that matter. Simple syrup and a few shakes of bitters (a common cocktail flavoring that smells like Christmas in a bottle) are combined and topped with a shot or two of whiskey and poured over ice. If you’re so inclined, you can add a twist of citrus to the top like we did. A drink like this requires a good-quality whiskey, so don’t skimp and buy the cheap stuff. Trust us.

Photography by Turner Maxwell for the Emerald.

Mojito — white rum, sugar, lime juice, sparkling water, mint.

Yes, one of our taste-testers described the mojito as “feminine,” but that doesn’t make this drink exclusive to the fairer sex! A tangy, crisp summer cocktail, the mojito could easily be used as an alcoholic replacement for breath mints, as the crushed mint is particularly strong throughout. White sugar is combined with the juice of half a lime and the mint leaves and is muddled together, bruising the mint to release some of its essential oils. Top with white rum and sparkling water, stir and imbibe.

Photography by Turner Maxwell for the Emerald.

Long Island Iced Tea — vodka, gin, tequila, rum, triple sec, sour mix, cola.

Need to get drunk in a hurry but have too many bad memories of the undergrad-classic, AMF? Look no further than the Long Island Iced Tea! With five shots worth of alcohol, this baby packs a punch, but it won’t make you throw up neon-blue vomit later on. The Long Island Iced Tea is basically the nachos of alcoholic beverages: Just throw in whatever alcohol you have on hand, top with sour mix and cola (the cheese, if you will) and enjoy.

Photography by Turner Maxwell for the Emerald.

Vodka martini — vodka, vermouth, olives

The vodka martini is perfect for those who hate themselves and want to drink toilet water all night.@@[email protected]@ Doesn’t quite sound appealing? Well, at least you’ll look badass while you do it.

Perhaps the martini is an acquired taste; maybe an appreciation for it only comes with a college diploma. The famous favorite of a certain Bond, James Bond, the martini is a breeze to put together — but not quite so easy to put back. Shake together vodka, dry vermouth and ice in a cocktail shaker (or, you know, whatever you have on hand) and drain into a martini glass.

In the mood for something dirtier? Just add an olive or two and some of the juice from the jar. If you want to absolutely befuddle anyone you happen to be drinking with, you could also garnish with cocktail onions. Seriously, why do those exist?

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