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Singles are not alone for V-Day
Counselors say students feeling lonely on Valentine's Day should celebrate friends, family and themselves
by Jill Kimball | News Reporter
Though Valentine's Day is meant to be celebrated by two people in a romantic relationship, those who are unattached don't have to feel left out.
Students who don't have a significant other with whom to share the day of love might feel like they are in the minority, but at the University, relationship status appears to be divided fairly evenly. Of the 72 percent of University students who list their relationship status on Facebook, only 36 percent - exactly half - say they are married, engaged or in a relationship.
Counseling and Testing Center Outreach Coordinator and counselor Chris Esparza said single students might feel lonely after watching too many Kay Jewelers commercials on television.
"Given how commercialized Valentine's Day can be, it can be hard to escape that pressure," Esparza said.
But just because Feb. 14 is a day about love doesn't mean it has to be romantic, he said. Esparza suggested that those who are single think of the day as a celebration of relationships with people they care about.
"You can find other singles and band together to celebrate friendship in a positive but quasi-anti-Valentine's Day way," Esparza said.
It doesn't even have to be about friendship, either. Students flying solo can think about ways to take care of themselves rather than other people, Esparza added.
"Celebrate yourself. Make your own day out of it," he said. "Listen to music you love, take a long walk, whatever you enjoy. Don't buy into the media's portrayal of what it should be."
University Center for Family Therapy Director John Miller said the media's portrayal of society probably plays a large role in depression among unattached people on Valentine's Day.
"The message society gives out is that you have to be paired up, and there's something wrong with you if you aren't," Miller said. "Certainly the Hallmark people would really remind you that Valentine's Day is the day when you're supposed to be in relationships."
Seeing so much emphasis on couples in the media might also trigger a single student's memories of past relationships, which may lead to mild or severe depression, Miller said.
"There have been numerous studies about depression on Valentine's Day because it happens a lot," he said.
A recent study by the online dating Web site True concluded that single men and women experience heightened feelings of psychological distress that can sometimes lead to month-long depression on Valentine's Day.
Esparza said being single is "probably a lot harder if you think you've been in love before and don't have it now."
So what's a broken heart to do? Miller suggested that singles focus on the future instead of dwelling on the past with respect to relationships.
"For some people this is an important period of time to take stock in what kind of relationship you want to have," Miller said.
Above all, Esparza said make sure you don't just sit around and mope.
"The media suggests there's something wrong with you if you don't do X, Y and Z on this day, but that's not true, so redefine the day and make it fit for you," he said.
jkimball@dailyemerald.com
Students who don't have a significant other with whom to share the day of love might feel like they are in the minority, but at the University, relationship status appears to be divided fairly evenly. Of the 72 percent of University students who list their relationship status on Facebook, only 36 percent - exactly half - say they are married, engaged or in a relationship.
Counseling and Testing Center Outreach Coordinator and counselor Chris Esparza said single students might feel lonely after watching too many Kay Jewelers commercials on television.
"Given how commercialized Valentine's Day can be, it can be hard to escape that pressure," Esparza said.
But just because Feb. 14 is a day about love doesn't mean it has to be romantic, he said. Esparza suggested that those who are single think of the day as a celebration of relationships with people they care about.
"You can find other singles and band together to celebrate friendship in a positive but quasi-anti-Valentine's Day way," Esparza said.
It doesn't even have to be about friendship, either. Students flying solo can think about ways to take care of themselves rather than other people, Esparza added.
"Celebrate yourself. Make your own day out of it," he said. "Listen to music you love, take a long walk, whatever you enjoy. Don't buy into the media's portrayal of what it should be."
University Center for Family Therapy Director John Miller said the media's portrayal of society probably plays a large role in depression among unattached people on Valentine's Day.
"The message society gives out is that you have to be paired up, and there's something wrong with you if you aren't," Miller said. "Certainly the Hallmark people would really remind you that Valentine's Day is the day when you're supposed to be in relationships."
Seeing so much emphasis on couples in the media might also trigger a single student's memories of past relationships, which may lead to mild or severe depression, Miller said.
"There have been numerous studies about depression on Valentine's Day because it happens a lot," he said.
A recent study by the online dating Web site True concluded that single men and women experience heightened feelings of psychological distress that can sometimes lead to month-long depression on Valentine's Day.
Esparza said being single is "probably a lot harder if you think you've been in love before and don't have it now."
So what's a broken heart to do? Miller suggested that singles focus on the future instead of dwelling on the past with respect to relationships.
"For some people this is an important period of time to take stock in what kind of relationship you want to have," Miller said.
Above all, Esparza said make sure you don't just sit around and mope.
"The media suggests there's something wrong with you if you don't do X, Y and Z on this day, but that's not true, so redefine the day and make it fit for you," he said.
jkimball@dailyemerald.com
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